Thankful for .... I drive Brianna to and from the bus stop everyday but on Monday mornings I drive her and her friend to school. This morning we talked about hairstyles and make up and how some styles are easier than others. We talked about what kind of cars they were going to drive when they turn 16 and what color they are going to be so they might have to save up money for a paint job. Lastly, we talked about what they were going to do with their life after high school. Brianna wanted to know if she had a college fund and when I told her no she said good I'm not going to college. Her friend explained how she wants to work with gems and go in caves to find them that its is a very dangerous job. Brianna said she was going to be a roommate with some other girl at school and she would just stay home to take care of the cats. So we tried to convince her that she should become a veterinarian and she could make house calls since she would just want to pet the animals all day. She decided that she wants to work with caring for wolves. I am thankful for having this time with them in the morning. I get to learn more about my own daughter thru talking with her friend. It's enjoyable to hear about their future or likes and dislikes. When we are driving in the car they can't get distracted with other people or things in a room. They have to actually sit there and talk. I love learning about their lives.
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Dear Brianna,
We all have moments that we look back on in life. One of mine is how we always say "I love you more". Usually we say it after I've tucked you into bed as I am shutting your bedroom door. Every time I latch the door closed it brings a big smile to my face as I continue to bed. Sometimes it seems like the simplest things can make you happy and this is one of my happy times. Me: I love you You: I love you more Me: It's not possible So I just had to put our saying on your wall over your bed. I'm sure most days you don't even realize it's there as it's just another painted wall but there are many days when I pick up your room I stop to look at it and just smile. I love you more, Mom Brianna, I know this is late and the season is over but it's better late than never! Brianna I think you found your "thing". I really hope that you continue doing Poms. You picked up on it really fast by learning the routines and you made some good friends. I really enjoyed going to all of the basketball games to watch you perform. My favorite part was every time you would get out on the floor your eyes would get real big and light up when you looked at me. The smile on your face just lit up with excitement. Love, Mom I know that now it is such a struggle to get you guys to take a first day of school photo anymore. I pray that you will allow me without a fight until your senior year. I just love watching you grow up. Every year it is exciting to compare your picture from the year before. It seems like you always remember your first time. Your first car, your first accident, your first ticket, your first baby, and the list goes on and on and on. Recently my high school girlfriend told me she ran into my first love's mother. (Since I wasn't there I don't exactly know how the conversation went.) I was his first love too. My friend told me Mrs. H always loved me and I was her favorite. I know that is why she always remembered me. I will just say in my head it was because I was pretty dang awesome. Now that you guys are getting older you are discovering "your first". Your first spring break vacation, your first F on your report card and soon your first car. I am excited because I get to remember and experience your first's too. I get to live in those moments too. Now I am comparing all of your first's with your seconds. Now I will most likely compare or judge everything after your first. Dear Brianna, It makes me sad to know that this was the last Daddy/Daughter dance that you will have with Dad. Every year you would only dance with Dad for one song and the rest of the time Dad would watch you play with your friends. However, this year you danced with Dad for TWO songs! That made me so happy to hear. It's times like this that I know you are growing up. I remember my mom always said she never wanted me to grow up when I was about your age. Now I know exactly how she felt. We are so close with each other and you always feel so comfortable talking with me about whatever you want but I know when it comes down to it you will always be Daddy's little girl. Love, Mom I never want you to change.I've paid my dues Time after time. I've done my sentence But committed no crime. And bad mistakes ‒ I've made a few. I've had my share of sand kicked in my face But I've come through. In my own little way I feel like I am a champion. I think that you should feel the same way about yourself. I've made mistakes in life but I've learned what works and what doesn't. So when I tell you how it feels or not to do something I most likely experienced it myself. I'm sure you would never think that your mother knows anything about growing up but I've gone thru quite a bit so I am pretty wise. I don't know everything but I'm pretty good with life experience. I want you to feel comfortable asking me anything. I found it cute and funny when I asked my daughter to write a letter to her teacher about how she felt. She thinks that her teacher doesn't like her anymore and isn't being fair when she always gets in trouble but the other kids don't. I'm not sure what she wanted me to do about it so I thought it might be helpful for her to handle this on her own. I mentioned that sometimes a teacher doesn't know how you feel because she has so many other kids to teach that unless you tell them they don't know anything is wrong. I told her to write down how her teacher made her feel in a letter. The first letter.....She tells her that she doesn't like her stuff being taken away and that she is rude for pulling her to the front of the classroom for talking when she only said something short. I told her that it probably wasn't very nice to tell her teacher she was rude and her letter wasn't really expressing how she felt but more telling her teacher how she was mean. Nobody wants to get a letter like that. I told her to rewrite it. The second letter......She did a great job of saying, "you hurt my feelings when...". I told her that this sounded much better and her teacher would accept hearing this better. I think my favorite part of her letter was when she said, "I kindly disagree with you when you pulled me to the front of the classroom for talking". I think she started to grasp the idea of the letter. I hate how she feels like her teacher doesn't like her anymore but I am proud of her for writing her letter. I always thought (still think) it was easier to write my feelings down than it was to tell someone in person because my words always got mixed up and I didn't really get to say what I wanted. The person could interrupt me and make me feel as if I was wrong to feel the way I did. I hate it when a conversation can get turned around and make you feel even more frustrated. So I think she did a great job and she felt better after writing her feelings on paper. She is already so many more steps ahead than I was when I was her age. I know people say "right before your eyes". Well, there are some days that I look at my present and can't believe where the time has gone. My kids are growing up so fast. I get excited to see where they are going and how they are getting there. I love watching them grow up but I wish they could stay little longer. It makes me smile when I just sit and watch them and how their eyes are taking things in.
I am so grateful that we got to take a vacation. It really meant a lot to me. I loved watching the kids faces as they played in the sand and looked for fish and shells. We tried to do something different every night. I know that when it was bedtime we all crashed hard. The mornings could be kind of rough.
Lots of memories were made that week. I wouldn't trade them for anything. I am hoping that in a couple of years we can do it again. It felt good smelling the ocean air and just having that feeling of vacation. You know where the worries at home don't exist for the week. We need to do that more often. I think it would be the medicine that we all need. |
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