Cameron, I am always so nervous when you ask if you can borrow my camera especially when you want to take it out with friends to the skatepark. Just the picture of you riding your skateboard and crashing with the camera in hand is scary to me cuz you have crashed using a webcam and broke your collar bone. You were so excited to come home and show me some of your shots. You knew exactly which picture you were looking for too. I loved seeing the pride in your face. I was just expecting your typical skateboard photo when you showed me this...I was shocked. It turned out so awesome. You were telling me how many times it took you to get it just right. You have such a creative eye for things and have such big visions. This photo is incredible and I am very impressed with your talent. Keep it up! Love, Mom
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I think it was rather cool that both my son's went to the homecoming dance without dates. In my opinion it shows that you aren't afraid to do things alone and don't need to rely on someone else to have a good time. I only wish that I could have followed you around secretly sneaking your picture, hiding behind decorations and trying to blend in with the crowd. Then I would get busted when you saw that I posted all of the photos on FaceBook. I love to watch the two of you laughing and smiling it makes me realize how much you have grown up. I will say that I have two incredibly handsome boys! I know that now it is such a struggle to get you guys to take a first day of school photo anymore. I pray that you will allow me without a fight until your senior year. I just love watching you grow up. Every year it is exciting to compare your picture from the year before. It seems like you always remember your first time. Your first car, your first accident, your first ticket, your first baby, and the list goes on and on and on. Recently my high school girlfriend told me she ran into my first love's mother. (Since I wasn't there I don't exactly know how the conversation went.) I was his first love too. My friend told me Mrs. H always loved me and I was her favorite. I know that is why she always remembered me. I will just say in my head it was because I was pretty dang awesome. Now that you guys are getting older you are discovering "your first". Your first spring break vacation, your first F on your report card and soon your first car. I am excited because I get to remember and experience your first's too. I get to live in those moments too. Now I am comparing all of your first's with your seconds. Now I will most likely compare or judge everything after your first. As I was looking thru some boxes searching for an old photo I came across this letter. I recieved it in the mail during the hardest part of my life. I know that you probably won't remember as many details as I do and I think that is for the best. You weren't living with me at the time and I hated every minute that you weren't with me. Every now and again when you were allowed to I would get a letter in the mail. I looked so forward to these letters. I am not going to lie but some of them broke my heart because there was nothing I could do about the situation at the time. This was written when you were in 3rd grade. I love the creativity in all of them and it is such a blessed feeling to read them so many years later. I am extremely grateful for the outcome. I know at times you guys drive me crazy but I love the fact that you are back with me. The best part is that no one can change that and take you away again. I've paid my dues Time after time. I've done my sentence But committed no crime. And bad mistakes ‒ I've made a few. I've had my share of sand kicked in my face But I've come through. In my own little way I feel like I am a champion. I think that you should feel the same way about yourself. I've made mistakes in life but I've learned what works and what doesn't. So when I tell you how it feels or not to do something I most likely experienced it myself. I'm sure you would never think that your mother knows anything about growing up but I've gone thru quite a bit so I am pretty wise. I don't know everything but I'm pretty good with life experience. I want you to feel comfortable asking me anything. Dear Cameron,
I am so excited that you got to go do something just with Dad. When we saw the sign for the Dad/Son night and the bat mobile was going to be there we thought you'd love it. From the sound of it you had a great time. I know its been awhile since you've had a chance to do something like that except when we got the boat. I know you feel like you never get to do anything but we do try to get you involved. It just seems like lately you have been depressed. I don't want that for you. We will have to do more things that you want to do. Dad and I know that you love cars so seeing the bat mobile that was in a museum seemed like a lot of fun. I love seeing that smile on your face. I love you, Mom I know people say "right before your eyes". Well, there are some days that I look at my present and can't believe where the time has gone. My kids are growing up so fast. I get excited to see where they are going and how they are getting there. I love watching them grow up but I wish they could stay little longer. It makes me smile when I just sit and watch them and how their eyes are taking things in.
I am so grateful that we got to take a vacation. It really meant a lot to me. I loved watching the kids faces as they played in the sand and looked for fish and shells. We tried to do something different every night. I know that when it was bedtime we all crashed hard. The mornings could be kind of rough.
Lots of memories were made that week. I wouldn't trade them for anything. I am hoping that in a couple of years we can do it again. It felt good smelling the ocean air and just having that feeling of vacation. You know where the worries at home don't exist for the week. We need to do that more often. I think it would be the medicine that we all need. I know it seems wrong to enjoy watching him fall but I love watching him get right back up. When Cameron fails at something most of the time he just gives up; but when he is on the water he always wants to get back up and try again.
Most of the time he has his tongue hanging out while he is out there. I have to giggle because it is amazing to me that he hasn't bitten his tongue off yet. (Maybe I shouldn't use the word "yet") I love to watch the concentration on his face when he is on that wakeboard. You can see it in his face when he is getting ready to try and jump or do a stunt. It is that look that I love to see on a child's face. The look of determination. So watching him fall is a sign of trying. He thinks about his strategy and then goes for it. When he fails he gets right back up and does it again! |
My Photographed Past